The following is a series of letters exchanged between J.R. and Jeremy Steinke as they awaited trial in the brutal slaying of the young girl's family.
I love you with all my heart and no matter what happens please don't forget that people are lying, including Casey. I feel very alone. Stay strong. God I can't seem to write what I feel but I love you eternally. Try to hope, there is only so much bonds of flesh can do to the soul. kisses
"There is only so much the bond of flesh can do to the soul!"
Dear Jaxz, *kisses* I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry, i love you with all my heart, and that will never change. [section whited out] I broke, I confessed. I'm sorry! I love you, I truly do . . . and I hope that one day I may be able to gaze into your eyez once again . . . I slept with your note in my hand every night, the only thing pushing me through this is the thought of you. I wish we could just go back in time and run . . . run far away and never look back. Never forget how much you mean to me or how much I love you! Without you I feel so empty and wish I could just die . . . no matter what I'm with you in mind and spirit, once this time comes, I hope to be with you in body too . . . keep this note close 2 your heart if I can write again I shall
Dear my loverly Ba [indecipherable] te,
Please don't be sorry, I'm the one who needs to be begging your forgiveness. If only we ran, yes, but don't obsess on what could have been. In due time we shall have our castle. I am not whole without you. I love you with everything I am. I'll never stop and my promises shall be kept. However desolate it seems and shall become take it one day at a time. It can only get so bad before it gets better. I will be with you in spirit. I hope your doing allright, however large a task, please don't stress out to much. Having your sanity might be helpfull. More than anything I wish to be with you and hold you again. But until that time comes, know I love you.
xoxox (In joy and sorrow my sweet 666) Jaxz
I'm sure that you are right, what's done is done. You need not ask for my forgiveness. Indeed, in due time our Empire shall be complete. Before you I was half and now that I am whole, I can't go back to being half. Your the one that I breathe, you're my moon when it breaks through the clouds at night, your all that I need. I long to feel your soft skin, I yearn for your kisses, for they could get me high. I hope that you stay true to your words. My entire faith has been bestowed unto you. With your words I shall remain strong, for you. Sometimes I have troubles sleeping at night, but I'm sure the thought of you before we get through the nights.
In due time we shall be together once again . . . but until that day arrives, stay strong, keep hope & have faith! I love you with all my heart and soul! Never forget that okay my love.
Til we speak again, xoxoxo Jeremy
Never has a person affected me so much. Always will there be something missing without you with me. My lawyer tells me we're ledgends. Ha, close to immortality it would seem. Monday I'm being moved to Calgary "sadness." I need to stay in contact.
[written by J.R.]
I love you more than life, it's self. I've added you to my visitors list so once your released please visit after. Never forget how much I care or that I love you. We can keep visiting each other til we can be together again. Without you this life isn't worth living. *kisses* The thought of being with you is all that is helping me stay some what sane. We shall be 2 gether again I promise. Stay true to your promises and I shall to mine. Casey continues to lie. I wish I could hold u right now. Stay strong and continue to write me please . . . I need you. I love you, I miss you! *kisses* xoxoxo
your lover Jeremy
p.s. U said you want to get engaged? Then here's a Q . . . Will u marry me? If so, then it is a verbal agreement.
May my heart become cold to all others.
Dear Jeremy, Ahahaha! I never thought I'd find myself hysterically laughing in a holding cell in these kind of circumstances . . . or ever really. But still! Ahaha you make me so happy! Yes! Yes! I will I would love to. Of course I'll come visit you'll have to find where you're being held. Ahaha god I'm so happy I must be happily insane then. Either way apparently I get a phyciatrist. Interesting information I came across. Anything you say to anyone including a phyciatrist, unless issued by a lawyer can be used against you for [expletive] sake. Rawr. The world really is against us. Do you have a lawyer yet? Do you know where your going in the near future? Oh I wish I could hold you and make you feel better! Argh I love you so much. I'm going crazy. Have you been in jail before? Ha I've counted and at times during the day a guard will come to "see if I'm okay" every 90 to 120 seconds lol
Oh did Casey happen to be in love with you?
We've been in the papers everyday apparently. I haven't seen them but hopefully can Monday. Everything related to me knows that I am in jail and what not, but don't know anything other than the charges and seemingly doesn't believe because my aunty says they still love me. Although it was as if I wasn't alive before. Oh remember that gift I had for you? It was a charm bag I had made for your well-being and such. You may think it's stupid but I put a unusually large amount of effort into it. I believe the planetary alignment and everything else that takes months to explain was correct so it's still helpful I suppose. I'll pray and reiki you. You will have no choice in the matter. In regards to the first time I snuck out, we're "safe." I want to be able to talk to you soo bad I have far to much free time alone, mixed with my fear of isolation. Well you're the only thing keeping me strong XOX
I have so much to say and contemplait but I'm going on here.
Dreams filled with visions of us help us through.
The following is a letter from Jeremy that police never delivered to J.R. It was released to the public on November 20, 2008:
In Joy & Sorrow My Sweet 666
I'm glad to hear that you accepted my proposal. Smiles. And you make me incredibly happy as well. I too am going for psychiatric assessment. I'm not sure where I'll be yet, but I'll let you know. The world may be against us, but remember that nothing beats love. Just reading your letters and knowing that you care and are going to be there 4 me makes me feel better. Rawr. I wish we could speak on the phone or something. I love you more than anything in this world. I too though am going crazy without you. Every night I wish you sweet dreams and a goodnight...No I've never been to jail before. Yah I hear you about the guards. I've starting counting the holes in my roof and so far I'm upto 700 and I'm not [indiscernible] a foot away from the wall yet. lol. I'm not sure about Casey, but I think that she's obsessed with me...but I could care le - [indiscernible] about her, that stupid #*#**. If I [indiscernible] come at her I would lol. I've [indiscernible] heard stuff on the radio. No one [indiscernible] possible understand why or [indiscernible] love [indiscernible] Either way we can start our [indiscernible.] No I don't think that your gift to me is stupid. I think that it's [indiscernible]. I wish I could have it. As for my gift to you...I bought you a corset I wish that I could see you wear it. Sighs. In time I hope to give it to you like I said before I think that your gift is my thoughts. I pray to you and 4 you every night. The thoughts of you keep me strong. And I wish for nothing more than to just be with you. Do you think of the future? What do you see? I see you! Dreams filled with visions of us do help me.
XOXOXO Your Loverly Bastard Goodnight.